Don’t do it for them.
Everything in front of you was not meant for you. Social media, the hype, the trends, the interacting you do with people out of habit rather than out of true want of company; none of that was meant for you. I do not write to criticize. I do not write this to undermine how you and your path are currently moving. I write this in hope that you think before you do something you believe is healthy for you. I want you to pause and consider one thought: “Am I doing this for me?”
Now the initial thought you may get is “Yes, I like doing this, it makes me feel good”, etc and that is ok. That’s natural. Rather, that’s the unnatural becoming more natural. We are conditioned (from God knows when) to do things we do not want to do, to do things that make others happy. To me, doing things for other people is not happiness. No other feeling is more selfish than happiness, and that is how it is supposed to be. Happiness is a feeling that comes from you. A feeling is a construct of your perceptions and summation of the current and past experiences. Basically, happiness is a feeling made from your desires. So how could it be happiness if it comes from other people? If you let them have the power to shape your perception, let them write the summary for your current and past experiences, letting them create your desires…that is how.
So now I ask, what makes you happy? Is what you do on a regular basis a genuine source of happiness for you? Your happiness is not owed to anyone but you. You do not owe anyone any time, you do not owe anyone emotion, you do not owe anyone your happiness if it drains the source of your own. Take some time out to yourself to find what your happiness is. Know that it comes in many shapes and forms and sometimes it may not have a shape or form at all. Actually, you probably have already tried to do this without knowing. I have found myself withdrawing from people and surroundings and for the life of me I could not figure out why. Why would a person who has love from so many sources need to get away from those sources? Isn’t love happiness? I asked myself this but it never changed what I did and still do.
I do not have a solid answer for this yet, only a theory. What if I am getting away from those sources of love because I have always relied on those certain things for my happiness? If I have done that then I’ve have been guilty of letting them give shape to my happiness, in other words I do not know my own happiness. What if I am getting away from those sources of love my soul, my essence is craving the solidarity needed to find the happiness I do not currently have? If that is the case I would have to admit happiness is selfish, to leave others who need/love me to find what you have been missing. But is that selfishness not warranted? Maybe this is something to revisit after later thoughts.
The ways you choose to be happy, are they of your own creation or desires? Do you want to go to that happy hour, or would you rather just go home and do what you normally do? Do you want to go out every night, or do you want to do something alone or with less people involved? Do you want a iPhone, or do you just want what is accepted? Do you want to stand in line for overpriced shoes/clothes, or do you buy these types of items so other do look at you funny for not having? Do you want to hashtag the trending topic because you are interested in it, or because you do not want to feel left out? Whatever is the case, whatever you decide to do
Don’t do it for them.